Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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