summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize