my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
