what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
