I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
