69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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