He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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