worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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