they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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