Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
