i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I was not drunk enough for that final.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize