I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize