i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
