So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
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