I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
