My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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