Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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