since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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