I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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