i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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