I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
