would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
