Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
