I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
