Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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