he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
