The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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