I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
