it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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