I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
