all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
