Please, let me fuck your mom
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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