Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
