I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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