Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
