Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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