This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
im calling her cock vulture from now on
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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