Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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