so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
