Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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