its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
