Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize