Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
