she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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