remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Alive.
So much puke
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
