when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
