3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
im on a boat
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