I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
