Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize