she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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