would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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