weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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