i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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