i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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