Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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