When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
