OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
