i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
