Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
