Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
