I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I want to walk on stilts...naked
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
