this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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