Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
