i was born a porn star she said
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
