He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
