Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
