just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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