K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
