Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
