i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
