It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
