sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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