So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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