So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
