Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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