Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
