Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
