you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize