i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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