His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
